Trusting the Story

I am writing this post while I sit in a hospital ICU room with our newest foster baby. She is a beautiful, 3 month old girl who was born with a congenital heart defect. This is our first medically fragile placement, and she is wonderful but currently struggling. I have cried and prayed more times than I could imagine in the last few weeks. I am trusting that God has such a beautiful story for this little miracle, and I am so grateful that He called us to be a part of it. However, being called to hard things does not make them easy. My husband is wonderful and is helping manage our other children so that I can be here with her. He and the other kids love our newest addition so much, but they miss both of us in the home enormously. It is hard for all of us to be apart, and we are doing all that we can to make it easier. The sacrifice is great but it is for a season. It helps me as a foster parent as well as a Christian to remember that God’s timing is not ours and while suffering is inevitable, He is sovereign to be with us through each season.

When things got so dark with this sweet baby, I found myself in the cardiac waiting room praying and crying with my oldest daughter, Keyla. She was also devastated at the thought of potentially losing her, and together we prayed and listened to worship music as we chose to remember that God is in control, even in the scariest of moments. I made God a promise in that waiting room that I would do whatever I had to do in order to prioritize this child and our family. I saw so clearly what this new calling was going to take, a faith and a tenacity that I can only have through Jesus. So as I sit her now, even in the light of not the best night, I know that God is working. I know that He is making a way for this sweet girl and for our family. I am walking towards her healing and victory and claiming it in the name of the Lord. I am choosing to believe that I am strong enough to be the mother that all of my children need as long as I put all that I am in the hands of the one who made us all. God has purposely and creatively made my beautiful family, and He has us all together for a purpose. I choose to trust the story because His story is always for our good and His glory.